 | Sex during pregnancy | Aug 04, 2008 |
Sex lives of many couples undergo certain changes when they expect a baby. Some of them refuse to have sex, some report about having sex less frequently and others simply do not know what is the best for them and their partners.
Certainly, pregnancy is one of the most important periods in couple's life and sexual intimacy does play a great role for both of them. Earlier, sex during pregnancy was forbidden topic and many partners marked the end of their sexual relationships from the beginning of pregnancy. However, numerous studies showed that sex during normal pregnancy is not harmful for a woman or a baby. Even more, for some women pregnancy became a great time when they felt more satisfied wit their sex lives.
Expectant mothers and father often have great number of worries related to health, relationships and self-esteem. Women for example, often worry about their body image and safety of pregnant sex, while men will not always understand what is going on with their partner and may back off during this period.
Changes during pregnancy
Most women will experience changes in their sexual desire during pregnancy. For many of them, the first trimester of their pregnancy is the time when their sexual desire drops, while the second trimester is often claimed to be the best time of their sex lives.
As pregnancy progresses, many couples find it difficult to have sex in certain positions, which makes them seek for new alternatives. Partners may need to find a compromise to find positions that will bring mutual satisfaction.
Also women undergo some emotional ups and owns during pregnancy that may influence their desire to have sex or change their tastes in bed. It is important for their partners to be receptive to woman's needs and ask about her desires.
There are also some conditions such as placenta previa or the risk of premature birth when sex during pregnancy might not be safe. It is better to consult with your health care provider to find out if there are any contradictions against sexual relationships during pregnancy.
Tips on sex during pregnancy
- Try to be more attentive to each other during pregnancy. Men should keep in mind that hormonal fluctuations, tiredness and concerns about weight gain may keep their pregnant partner off sex. Do not push woman to do things she doesn't want and be patient. May be you will need to find some alternative ways to please each other.
- Many women observe some changes in the sensations during sex while being pregnant. Find a comfortable position, like side to side or woman on top to avoid exhaustion and smooth your sensations.
- Some women experience increased tenderness of their nipples and thus find nipple stimulation even unpleasant. Talk to your partner about your sensations and explain the situation. You may show your partner other ways to please you.
- If you experience lack of lubrication, you may need to ensure better arousal before penetration. Also you may get a good lubricant to enjoy sex and increase your satisfaction.
- Be more creative if you worry about safety of sex during pregnancy. Gentle erotic massage, mutual masturbation and oral sex may hlp you say intimate throughout pregnancy.
| For men: How to preserve sexual vitality | Jul 14, 2008 |
Self-confidence
Men's sexual performance depends on many factors and one of the most significant ones is self-confidence. Many men are concerned about penis size, which make them too anxious and unsure about their performance in bed. As a result, a man may think that the size is to blame for his failure while in fact, his worries were the cause. One recommendation that can be given to all men is to stop worrying about the size and improve their skills. A woman will always appreciate a partner who knows how to make her feel great in bed.
Do not overeat
During the arousal and the intercourse, the blood flows to your penis, while excessive food will not contribute to a better erection. It's better to include vegetables, like celery and tomatoes, nuts, seafood, olive oil and other healthy food in your diet, especially if you plan a hot evening. Fast-food and alcohol will make you sluggish in bed that won't look sexy for your partner.
Prolong pleasure
Premature ejaculation decreases your sensations during orgasm, that's why it is important to deal with the problem using small tricks. First of all, learn to have short breaks during penetration. You can do it while changing sex positions during the intercourse. Choosing the right position may also help to prolong or shorten the intercourse. If you want to have sex longer you may need to try missionary position with legs wide open, while the tighter grip in a position when woman's legs are closer is best to achieve orgasm faster.
Take care of your health
Unsafe sex with casual partners will not make you more experienced but add more troubles to your sexual health. Keep to simple rules, like using a condom and be careful when choosing your partners.
General health condition is also important as heart diseases, diabetes, atherosclerosis, nervous disorders can lead to erectile dysfunction. It's important to exercise, keep to a balanced diet and preserve your mental health for better sexual life.
Practice regularly
According to the latest research, men will considerably reduce their risk of developing erectile dysfunction if they have intercourse on a regular basis. Abstinence weakens man's sexual performance and can lead to sexual problems such as ED. Having sex at least tow or three times per week will not only improve your sex life but also will affect you overall well-being.
Be attentive
Men who care about their partner's pleasure are more attractive to women than self-centered machos. Learn how to please your woman sexually, fulfilling her deepest fantasies. Be creative and introduce something new in your relationships. Spontaneous sex may also add some fresh air into a regular sex repertoire.
| Five Ways to Rekindle Sex in Marriage | Jun 30, 2008 |
You may still remember those times when your first sex was full of passion and desire and you both could not take your hands off each other. You could have sex anywhere, anytime and you couldn't have enough of it.
Now, that you are settled in a marriage, your sex life underwent some changes and sex became less sizzling. Does it mean that sex will disappear from your life?
First of all, it is worth mentioning that almost every couple will face this situation sooner or later, but it doesn't mean the end of sexual relationships in a marriage. The fact that we all have different libido, with different preferences and frequency of sex is not always obvious during a honeymoon phase. But sooner or later when a man and a women have long term relationships, their differences may lead to certain conflicts.
1. Find a compromise
If your partner has higher libido you will need additional stimulation to find common ground. First of all, you will need to explain this to your partner and find out what turns you on the most: romantic evening, longer foreplay, certain words or some other details. You may hint about your desires to your partner so that both of you could enjoy sex.
In case when your partner has lower libido, you may need to be more active and inventive to arouse him or her. Show your interest in your partner's desires and feelings and you will be gratified for such attention.
2. Choose a right role
Now that sex roles are not so determined, our sexuality is still often based on traditional roles. And while most of us have to play different roles, it is better to forget about them once you are in a bedroom. Many women are extremely turned on by the feelings of being a weaker sex in their sexual relationships and being conquered by a stronger man. As long as you both agree on your roles, your satisfaction will be very high.
3. Be more sensual
One of the most effective ways to return those sizzling nights back in your life is to get detached from the intercourse. Touch each other with your hands, tongues, feathers and use other ways to arouse your partner sexually. Take things slowly and be patient during such foreplay. The main rule is to avoid the intercourse. This will make a difference for your usual sexual scenarios and let the desire built up. Sensual focus is also a good way to become closer to each other.
4. Improve your relationships
Sex is closely related to relationships with your partner, that's why many couples end up on different sides of the bed at the end of the day. Frequent fights, misunderstandings and lack of attention are common reasons why your partner may refuse sex. Many women need to feel appreciated and loved to be aroused and this plays very important role in long-term relationships. Try to discuss your desires and conflicts before sex and show your interest towards your partner. This can make a big difference in your sex life.
5. Stay realistic
Do not expect sex to be perfect every day with both of you feeling satisfied every time you make love. Real sex life is not what you see in Hollywood stories and you are not on a stage. It is up to you to make your sex life better and bring happiness in your relationships. Keep in mind that you and your partner have your ups and downs and do not let the disappointment overwhelm you.
| Multiple partners vs. one partner | May 03, 2008 |
Sexologists say that most women and men lie about their previous sexual experiences, underestimating (for women) or overestimating (for men) the number of sex partners. Making the secret of your past can be quite understandable as people tend to make certain conclusions based on sexual behavior. But why men tend to boast about the multiple partners they had and women try to hide the real number of partners?
Indeed, does number of partners tell about your skillfulness in bed? Most probably not. Most experts agree that most satisfying sex is among long-term partners. There are several reasons for that:
Frequency of sex
Couples that live together, have higher frequency of sex, that benefits both partners, keep them fit and more confident. However, there is always a possibility that regular sex may turn into monotonous sex when sexual excitement fades with the time. But if both partners are willing to do some changes in their repertoire, their experience becomes really precious.
For those who do not have stable relationships, sex life usually undergoes ups and downs with times when sexual passion is on the rise followed by uncertainty and overall lack of sex.Sexual satisfaction
Long-term relationships that are based on trust and open communication contribute to better understanding bed. Partners can discuss their sexual likes and dislikes, improve their sex life and with the time get almost in tune with each other sexually. That helps women and men derive maximum pleasure from their experience.
Partners who do not know each other quite well may often feel awkward when it comes to one's preferences in bed. On the one hand lack of knowledge brings more exploration in sexual area, on the other hand, both partners do not feel intimate enough to openly say what was right or wrong.Sexual health
There is no need to say that partners who committed to each other and got to know each other's sexual history are more confident when it comes to their sexual health. Again, open communication is the key and knowing that your health will also affect your partner's health makes you more responsible. Partners in long-term relationships often have better understanding on the methods of contraception and decide what is best for them.
Having multiple partners, makes you feel less secure in these issues, especially if you just started having sex together.Sex experiments
Someone may say that more partners equals to more variety in sex life. This is not true, if we talk about stable relationships where partners are used to share their feelings and ideas together. On the contrary, long-term partners feel comfortable to discuss their fantasies and are open to experimentation, which brings them even closer to each other. You can always explore the whole variety of sexual experience with one partner – it is just takes more efforts than changing partners frequently. And you are more willing to try new things with a partner who won't say that there is something wrong with you.
| Sex in the water | Apr 28, 2008 |
Sex in the water is often a way to beat the bedroom boredom and add some spice into sex life. However, not all the water adventures end up in sexual bliss for couples. Sex in the bath can be tricky enough and you should be prepared to face certain discomfort.
Stay wet
First of all, in spite of the fact that you won't have lack of moisture in the bathroom, your body will be dry in the most intimate zones. In fact, water washes away all the natural lubrication, making penetration less comfortable. The gentle tissue of the vagina can become irritated and together with other chemicals like bubble bath, soap and oils it may cause some irritation and make you more susceptible to thrush.
So if you want to stay lubricated during water fun, it is better to use some lubricant that is not water-soluble like silicone lubricant.
Make it a safe place
Bath tube can be not suitable for sex fun as the surface is quite slippery to perform water sex just like the movies show it.
Make sure you have some support to have sex with your partner. Standing position is quite common in the bathroom though may require some maneuverability. Having sex in missionary and doggy style positions can also be not quite smooth.
You may consider having oral sex as in this case, you will be more in control of the situation.
Make it more sensually-oriented
If having sex in the bath has proved to be uncomfortable, you can reserve your bathroom for foreplay. You can gently rub your lover's back and chest with soap foam, give sensual strokes and enjoy the aroma oils to create sexy mood.
It is also good to start any sex play in the bathroom since you will be sure that both of you are fresh and clean to fulfill your naughtiest fantasies later in the bedroom.
Think about contraception
Many people think that they cannot get pregnant in the water. This is a myth. Do not believe that hot temperature of the water will kill sperm or prevent sperm from fertilizing the egg. Also sex in the water does not prevent STDs. Condom is an effective method of contraception, but using it in the water can be quite problematic as it can slip off.
If you are not sure about safer sex in the water, it is better to move on to the bedroom where you can be more confident in using a reliable contraceptive method.
| What if his libido disappeared? | Apr 22, 2008 |
Low sex drive is rarely associated with men, however more women are reporting about their husband's lack of interest in sex. Why does your man refuse to have sex and what can be done in this situation?
Usually, sex problems in men are usually related to their partner's lower sex drive when he wants more than he gets. If the situation becomes quite the opposite and a woman is the one to beg for sex, this seems like a warning sign. In fact, loss of libido in men is very common.
One of the reasons for that may lie in the changes that occurred over the next years. Today a man is feeling the same increased pressure as women, who are not only aimed at career building but also need to be good dads and husbands. Isn't this surprising that the increased burden often leads to sexual fluctuations?
Another reason is the common misconception that men always want and are ready to have sex and only women are inclined to mood swings that affect their sex lives. But men just like women also feel stressed and tired after work and their emotions also count when it comes to sex.
Many women, who face this problem, tend to seek for the reason in themselves, thinking that they are no longer attractive for their partner or he has got an affair. In this case, it is better to clarify the situation. Communication is good only if you do not try to avoid blaming him. Probably you will need to start asking him about what might bother him. It is important to say that it is important for you to know why these changes occurred and tell him honestly about your feelings.
He may as well be worried about these changes, which can make the situation more difficult as he will try to avoid sex because of performance anxiety.
First of all make sure, that problem is not related to physical condition such as erectile dysfunction. It is known that almost half of all men will face this problem at least once in their life. It might be difficult for him to accept this fact as he might consider it a sign of weakness. Be supportive and do not exaggerate the problem. Also it is not recommended to fix the situation by focusing on sex.
Lost libido may well be just a passing stage and as stresses become weaker, you might enjoy the happy times again. Keep in mind that sexual problems occur in every family at one time or another, but marriages survive if both partners are willing to solve them and talk to each other.
| Using fingers to please her | Apr 14, 2008 |
Stimulating your woman's private parts can become the most intimate and amazing experience for both of you. However, using your fingers to please women can be quite a difficult task, especially if you do not have enough practice.
Treat her clitoris gently
Probably the most common mistake men do when stimulating women's clitoris with their fingers is when they imitate their penis stimulation. When it comes to her clitoris, any harsh stimulation can spoil her pleasure. First of all, explore her genitals, finding her clitoris, her labia and the opening of vagina. Do not start right with clitoral stimulation, give her some time to build up the arousal. Besides, rubbing her in the wrong place can be quite annoying and ineffective.
Run the tips of your fingers over her inner thighs, play with her pubic hair, gently touch her labia to make her anticipate pleasure. Tease her until she will hint you by spreading her legs wider or pushing her thighs forward.
Avoid monotony
There is no need to focus all your attention on her clitoris. At some point she may want your fingers inside her vagina and then again on her clitoris- be receptive to small clues she gives you. If your technique becomes predictable, it may sooner no longer bring her that pleasure she once experienced. Also sticking your fingers inside her vagina right from the start is not a good idea. If she is not fully aroused, your fingers may become useless. It is better to use your fingers playfully, touching her outside and inside and keep up with her needs.
Keep to a steady rhythm
Very often, when woman becomes more and more aroused she wants her partner to keep to the same rhythm and intensity, while man may want to increase the speed. Of course it's better to ask your partner what she really prefers, and continue your pace unless she asks you to make it harder or faster.
Explore her G-spot
G-spot stimulation can bring her very intense sensations and she will definitely appreciate if you will use your fingers to stimulate her hidden spot. Shape your fingers in "come hither" motion and insert them inside her vagina. You may feel a rough area that is different from other surface and your woman can give you some clues if you found the right spot. Start slowly, gently sliding with your fingers inside. Then you may apply some pressure as G-spot is usually responsive to such stimulation. The more aroused she will become, the more intensity she may need.
Enhance her pleasure
There are many ways to make her feel multiple sensations and bring her to the most powerful orgasm. First of all, you may try to finger her while giving her oral sex. This may need some practice , but the results can be amazing. If you have already explored the backdoor area and she enjoys it, you may experiment with double penetration with your fingers, inserting one or two fingers inside her vagina and other finger in her anus.
She may also ant to go beyond the boundaries and take the whole hand. This should be performed with caution and only if she really wants it. Use additional lubrication and shape your fingers to make your hand slim to insert the tips of your fingers. You can make slight in-out motion or slowly rotate your hand.
| Sex in public places | Apr 12, 2008 |
Having sex in public places is a very common fantasy of men and women. The most adventurous couples are ready to engage in a thrilling fling in a restaurant bathroom, a backseat of the car, on the desk in the office and other places where sex becomes a forbidden fruit.
Why sex seems so much exciting in public places? Most of your friends who have done it in public places would probably say that routine in sexual relationships urged them to seek for out-of-the-bedroom scenery. Others would say that the only thought of getting caught adds a lot of fresh sensations they lacked. If you are one of those people who find it extremely arousing to have sex in public places, then you might need some recommendations.
Choose the right place
Common places where men and women have sex are: parks, public bathrooms, plane bathroom, movie theaters, cars, woods and fields, elevators, office, department store restroom, swimming pool, balcony, roof, telephone booth and others.
Before you decide to have sex in public weigh all the risks and keep in mind that in most states sex in public is prohibited and you might get into serious trouble. If you consider yourself brave enough, choose the place that has the lowest risks. For example, if you get caught having sex in the office, it might affect your career, so you should decide for yourself if it is worth trying.
Plan your time
Of course, best sex is unexpected sex, but isn't it better to be prepared for all the possible surprises beforehand? Most probably, sex in public places will be quick and less comfortable then in your cozy bedroom. Keep that in mind and make sure both of you will get aroused before you get in the public place. This might be in a form of mental stimulation, when you whisper those naughty words in your partner's ears or some unequivocal hints like caressing your partner's knees. Thus when you get in that "forbidden" place, you will have the most passionate quickie.
Consider a right position
Think about position that will be more or less comfortable for both of you. Think about some details like the size of the place you are going to play around. Is there any support for your partner and whether you can rearrange something (for example in a car) to make it more enjoyable. Standing and doggy style positions are the most popular among those risky couple, while missionary position is most suitable in places where you have plenty of room.
Think about the form of sexual play
Having sex in public places doesn't always mean you should have an intercourse. Very often, oral sex, a steamy petting and mutual masturbation may be good enough to bring you to the highest peak of pleasure as the most excitement lies in fact that you are undertaking something risky. You might start your adventure somewhere in public but indulge in intercourse at home, thus you will add sexual excitement in your relationships and feel safer.
| How to become sexually attractive | Apr 03, 2008 |
Think sexy
Sexual appeal comes from our minds even more than our body. If you dress in the sexiest lingerie, but are ashamed of showing your body and are constantly worrying about your partner's reaction - you won't be enjoying the pleasures of sex. If you are used to think that having sex is bad or practicing some forms of sex is embarrassing then your message to your body would be the same.
Start with positive thinking about your body and sex as a great part of your relationships that brings you pleasure and makes you closer with your partner.
Learn your body
Do not expect your partner to know everything about pleasing you. Your body is individual and so are your reactions. Have enough time to explore your genitals; clitoris, labia and vagina. It is known that women, who masturbate, have better chances to experience orgasm. Spend some time alone to know what gives you the most pleasure and how would you want your partner to stimulate you.
Many women require a lot of time before they achieve orgasm, and no one will know it for sure until you find a way to experience orgasm.
Get familiar with your body expressions
Many women think of a perfect sexual encounter as the one shown in a movie, where everything looks very romantic and there are no awkward situations. In reality, sex may not look so perfect having many ups and downs when you both learn how to please each other. Many women are afraid to lose control during orgasm as they fear they can act somewhat inappropriate, like peeing or making strange sounds. But in order to get the most pleasure from sex, you need to feel free to express your satisfaction. Your partner will only appreciate your moans and groans as this will make him proud of giving you the utmost pleasure.
Enjoy sex
How do you feel after sex: sad, empty, lonely or confused? If sex makes you feel bad – it's time to make some radical changes. If you will take some time to think over this problem you may find that the reasons for having sex with some person may be far from having pleasure. You might simply be motivated by a desire to feel loved by someone or you want to keep that person, but that won't improve your sexual relationships. If you really want to enjoy sexual intimacy the best way is to motivate yourself by a desire to become closer to that person or to make up, or to celebrate an important date. You will feel that quality of sex is more significant in your relationships and thus will feel and look more satisfied and appealing.
Compliment him
Make your partner feel as good as you do telling him what you really liked and how you want him to give you those wonderful sensations over and over again. Do not hold your emotions and share your excitement with your partner. Thus you will not only create special intimacy with your partner sharing the most secret moments and sensations but also become more sexually attractive for him.
| Men's Greatest Sex Fears | Mar 26, 2008 |
He may look confident and invincible, still having feeling quite nervous in bed, which can make your sex life less pleasant. What are the most common things men are afraid of in bed?
Performance anxiety
The fear of not being able to perform well in bed can make him avoid sexual intimacy and bring some tension in your relationships. This is especially true, if he had an embarrassing situation in the past. Once being a subject of mocking he may no longer want to initiate sex with someone else.
If you think that your partner might suffer from performance anxiety, the most important thing is to be careful and not to push things. Show him that you value him as a person and try to create a relaxing atmosphere having fun and playing some roles. Be the one to initiate sex and lead the game.
Fear of being compared to another man
There is no need to say that your man wants to be the only one and any comparison to someone else makes him feel insecure. If you mention about your ex and your previous sex adventures, he may involuntarily make comparisons with another man not in his favor. If you tell how bad your previous partners were, this can make him think that you might discuss his performance in the same manner with others.
The best thing is to tell your partner what things you enjoy in bed with him, never comparing him to someone else.
Fear of being unattractive
You may think that looks are not so important for a man, but in fact he may spend hours in a gym only to match the ideal of a muscled young man. He may either prefer to have sex with the lights off or in such positions where you won't be able to have a full view of his body.
Of course, one of the most effective ways to overcome this fear is to tell your partner about his merits. There is no need to lie that he has a gorgeous athletic body if it not true, but he may have a lot more attractive features to focus on. Tell him how safe you feel in his arms and how attractive is his butt and he will no longer be worried about small imperfections.
Fear of premature ejaculation
He may often ask you if you had an orgasm or you felt good enough, being afraid that sex lasted too short. This is connected to a fear that a woman may not get enough satisfaction with him and think about fulfilling her desires with someone else. In fact, almost every man faced the problem of premature ejaculation at least once in a lifetime.
If you want him to feel less anxious about quick intercourse, ask him for a longer foreplay so that he will feel himself more confident and you will have enough time to get fully aroused.
Fear of small penis
It is useless to say that size doesn’t matter as most men are convinced that only a big penis can do the work properly. He is used to compare his manhood to other men's penises from the early adolescence and is sure that this is a key to success in sexual relationships. And while you may not think about the size, this fear can turn into obsession if you won't change the situation for better.
When words are ineffective, the best tool is to make him feel proud of his manhood. Choose positions for deeper and tighter penetration( doggy style, for example) so that you both will feel closer intimate contact.
| How to Overcome Shyness in Bed | Mar 25, 2008 |
For many men and women the joys of pleasure are overshadowed by fear and anxiety about their sexual performance. There are a lot of different reasons that do not make us feel at ease when we are with our partner. Usually it is a more complex problem, connected with self-image, previous experience or some discomfort you feel with your partner.
Shyness and Body Image
Do you consider making love in the dark only? Many men and especially women feel embarrassed to get naked in front of their partner. Negative body image is what can make your sex life less enjoyable. You may think that your body is not as beautiful as those seen in magazines and movies and as a result compare yourself with some ideal. This is a serious obstacle to a better sex life when partners share intimacy and have to be open to each other.
First step to overcome your shyness connected with negative body image is to change the way you think about your body. You should understand that there are women of all sizes and shapes and that your body is very individual. You may develop a healthier life style, exercising for example but what is more important – to come to terms with your own body.
Shyness and Experience
An unpleasant event in the past may also add anxiety to your sexual performance, making you less confident and as a result more passive. Probably your previous partner was too critical of your performance and that was enough for you to become closer with your partner now. Lack of sexual experience is also a reason why you may feel quite awkward with your partner in bed.
Talk to your partner about your fears and share your emotions to make him/her understand what makes you feel uncomfortable. Perhaps, you need to create more intimate relationships and have more trust in your partner. Your partner may help you in overcoming those insecurities if he or she understands what the problem is. If you failed to find common ground and your partner still ignores the problem, you should think twice before sharing a bed with him/her.
Shyness and Your Partner
You may think that your partner is too experienced and fear that he or she might be disappointed by your performance. Or this can be a case when your partner's sexual preferences do not correspond with yours. For example, he may prefer you to be more dominant in bed, while you derive pleasure from being receptive and submissive.
If your fears are connected with lack of experience, the easiest way is to ask your partner how to make him/her feel good and to guide you during lovemaking with words and actions. It is hard to deal with difference in sexual preferences but it is even harder to find two partners who have absolutely the same tastes in bed. Thus it is more important to find a compromise than feel awkward. In any situation, it is better to discuss it with your partner and explain why you like or dislike something in bed. After discussion you may change your views on certain practices or find a compromise.
If it is hard for you to start the topic you may use some help reading a sex manual or browsing a website together. The ideas you come across will prompt you what to do next.
| Most Common Myths about Infidelity | Mar 20, 2008 |
Happy couples do not cheat
Most people believe that if a man cheats on his wife he is living in an unhappy marriage. This often implies that a woman is mostly responsible for her husband's unhappiness, being the reason why her man cheats. However, many psychologists say that many partners who have wonderful sex life and love each other nevertheless do not refuse to have an extramarital affair. Interesting enough, more than a 50 percent of men often claim about living in a happy marriage.
If you have an extramarital affair that means that you don't love your partner
Another common misconception about infidelity is that you might think that the only fact that your partner loves you will save your marriage from extramarital affair. In fact, It's more about your partner's value system and his or her character. If your partner is used to lie in other areas of life, you cannot be sure that he won't hide something from you in intimate relationships.
Some people, in spite of living in an unhappy marriage still cannot break the vows either because they cannot live double lives or they won't be able to lie.
Affairs give you what you cannot have in a marriage
It's a common misconception to think that you can find happiness outside the marriage because your partner cannot give you everything. As a matter of fact, it all depends on yourself and your desire to change yourself and improve your relationships, rather than seeking for someone to fulfill your needs.
Many men and women start feeling more appreciated by new partner in comparison to their long-term partner who knows you for who you are. And while an affair with someone else makes you feel more intelligent, attractive and virtuous in the eyes of a new person, you may mistakenly think that your husband or wife is ignorant of all your virtues.
Your partner pushes you to cheat
Actually, you cannot blame your partner for your affairs. It is often a woman who is blamed for her husband's infidelity. Cheating partners try to justify their actions by saying that they were unhappy in a marriage. However, in many cases it's an inability to deal with dissatisfaction and problems within a relationship that makes a cheating partner escape in another relationships.
As long as both partners try to work things out and solve their problems until it's too late, the more chances are for them to seek for consolation outside their marriage.
Extramarital affair means an end to the relationships
Finding out about your partner's infidelity is undeniably a traumatic experience and you will need a great work to rebuild trust in your relationships. However, men and women tend to look differently at cheating. Very often, women say that they can forget a one-night stand if there was no emotional involvement with another woman, while men feel more hurt if their wives had sex with another man. And they are more likely to deal with wife's emotional attachment to another man if she had no sexual relationships with him.
Infidelity means that you had sexual intercourse with another partner
Nowadays, with the variety of sexual practices and technical progress it is even more difficult to define what can be considered an affair. Is oral sex with another partner is a sign of infidelity or not? Many men and women get even more hurt when they find that heir partner had oral sex with someone else, because they consider it as more intimate act.
Also, you may have an affair in the internet and be emotionally involved in these relationships. Of course for one person sex is a key element, and for affection for another person can become a long-term hurtful experience. The basic things that define infidelity are secrecy about another relationships, desire to share intimate moments with someone else and sexual attraction.
| Faking orgasm | Mar 13, 2008 |
We all know that faking orgasm is like lying to your partner, and what are the consequences of such a lie?
Many women would secretly confess that they faked an orgasm at least once in their lives. In most cases they would say that they did it to boost their partner's self-esteem. One hand they feel sexier, claiming to reach the peak of pleasure, on the other hand they try to ensure their partner's efforts were not useless. And while some acting can be good enough to keep your romance look good at the surface, the lies and other problems may sooner or later appear as a result of faking orgasm.
The most common problem that one can face when faking orgasm is making your sex life more and more dissatisfied. First of all your partner won't learn what feels good to you and how he can improve the situation. Instead, he will be pleasing you in the wrong way, being convinced of his excellent performance. Without knowing your real feelings, he won't be able to make you feel better.
Doesn't mean that you should simply lie there and show him absolute indifference? The best way in this situation is to explain your partner what you really want. You may not say it with words by rather with your actions, guiding him with your hands and gestures. Try to be responsive and always encourage him when you really appreciate what he is doing.
Also you should not expect to experience orgasm every time you have sex. Sometimes you may simply have pleasure without acting the earth-shattering orgasm. You may tell your partner about the pleasure you had with him and he won't be bothered about dissatisfaction.
Learn to enjoy the happy moments with your partner and do not focus on orgasm. If it happens - it's just fine, if it doesn't and you likes sex it's fine too.
You are in charge for your pleasure and your partner helps you to have the unforgettable experience and if something goes wrong give him some clues, try something different to make it happen. Changes are good for any sexual relationships and as you both will be open to new sensations, your experience will be always fresh irrespective of the fact of having orgasm or not.
| How to hint your partner to do better in bed | Mar 13, 2008 |
Silence is a an enemy of every sexual relationships, but what if your partner is not doing it right for you in bed and you don't want to hurt his/her feelings. Does it mean that you should tell your partner about your dissatisfaction or better keep it a secret? I would say that it's better to open up than let your relationships die. Your partner won't know what you dislike, unless you tell about it, but what is really important - how you tell this.
Give your partner the initiative
Do you feel like you are the only one who is making all the efforts in bed? If your partner is completely unresponsive and doesn't want to give you a feedback, this can be a right time to change the situation.
First of all if you notice that your partner is motionless and tense, ask her or him what bothers him/her and what are your partner's thoughts and feelings. If he/she is worried about something talk about it. If your partner is nothing but relaxed and unwilling to reciprocate, you may focus her/his attention on your needs by placing your partner's hands where you want or gently whisper your desires in her/his ears. The other way to make your partner more active is to change positions so that your partner would inevitably take the initiative.
Explain your needs
You dislike the way he or she is kissing you but you do not want to criticize your partner? There is no need to tell about your dissatisfaction directly. The way you tell your partner about your needs plays a significant role for your partner's reaction. Try to avoid concentrating on your needs only when you explain what you need. This may cause a defensive reaction and lead to a conflict. It is better to focus on mutual satisfaction, asking her/his opinion and making your partner the one to decide how to make you both feel better.
It is even more recommended to explain your partner the benefits of the experience you both want. Do not make your requests one-sided and try to be more giving.
Guide your partner physically and verbally
If something seems uncomfortable to you during sex, the best thing to do is to change the situation by gently guiding your partner with his/her hands. Grasp his/her hips to help your partner do the movements you like. You may start with caressing your partner gently before you place his/her hands where you want them to be.
Encourage your partner with moans, groans and some words.
Appreciate your partner's efforts by letting her/him know that you liked the most. This will make your partner more confident and more willing to make you both feel good.
Create the right mood
Your sexual interaction should not be all serious and tense. The more relaxing you both feel, the more chances are for you to find common language with your partner. Engage in role-playing or simply discuss your fantasies and desires so that both can enjoy good time and explain what you need in a fun manner. This is a good way to touch the topic in a relaxing atmosphere without hurting your partner.
| Get in Touch with Your Senses | Feb 14, 2008 |
One of the common complains for long-term couples is connected to the lack of passion and slowly diminishing sensations with the time.
If you want to improve your sexual relationships and bring in more sensuality in your sex life your primary aim is to learn focusing on your sensations. This may help if you are worried about your performance or gone off sex for some period.
- First step is aimed to focus on your sensations and make them more intense. Do it in a form of an exercise. Decide who will be the active partner or set the rule of switching the parts.
- Settle in a warm comfortable atmosphere and make sure you are alone with your partner so that nothing can interrupt you. You may dim the lights and use a soft background music. You may also leave some clothes on or start with being completely naked.
- Now you will need to relax, while your partner will be touching you , avoiding genitals and breasts areas. You should focus on your sensations, when your partner runs his hands over your body and try to keep this awareness through the session. Your partner's task is to explore your body step by step, like an unknown place and watch over your reaction.
- This exercise will bring you the feeling of comfort and trust, getting you in touch with your physical side and relaxing your mind. After several sessions you will get more comfortable and even can guide your partner how you want to be touched. Do not rush to progress to the intercourse until you become familiar with each other's bodies at this stage.
- It would be helpful to talk to your partner about your experience and what felt good to both of you.
- Now you can move to a more intimate level, where both of you can touch each others genitals. Again, take your time and keep things slowly. Keep in mind the previous exercise and do not ignore other parts of your partner's body.
- Gently touch your partner's genitals, applying different pressure, speed and friction.
- At this point, you may want to proceed to the intercourse, but you should spend more time focusing on your sensations.
- If you feel the necessity, you may even masturbate in presence of your partner, thus giving him or her the opportunity to learn what brings you to orgasm better. Linger on this stage as far as you feel comfortable and relaxed.
- After you went through the first two stages of body exploration, you may proceed to penetration. Though, as with the previous exercises you will need to make it slowly.
- First, your partner inserts penis in vagina, but doesn't move or thrust. Focus on the sensations of the fullness and remember it. It is a good exercise for a man suffering from premature ejaculation.
- After that you may try to include some movement, like rotating or slow and fast thrusting. You task is to play and experience different sensations in a relaxing mutually agreeable atmosphere.
- When you are learning to focus on your sensations, you may both agree to reach orgasm on your own to avoid performance anxiety. This will also give you more time to understand your and your partner's body reactions and make your lovemaking more variable.
You may come back at any stage of sensual exploration and enjoy the excitement of true intimacy and fresh sensations anytime you feel the necessity to refresh your feelings for each other and improve your relationship.
| She Doesn't Want Sex Anymore | Feb 08, 2008 |
Times when you couldn't take your hands off each other are long gone and she may no longer urge for sex as she used to. This situation is quite common for couples after the initial stage of sexual madness is over. Is it a normal situation for a woman to want less sex once she settles in stable relationships and what are the causes decreased sexual desire?
Physical exhaustion
One of the common problems faced by young mothers or working women is that at the end of the day their sexual desire is totally diminished due to the abundance of day-to-day tasks, care about a new-born baby, work and other duties. Is it so surprising that a flame of love subsided under pressure of daily routine.
What to do
Ask her about her state - she may well confess you that tiredness made her desire disappear, which gives you a good opportunity to share your duties and leave at least some time for yourself only.
Lack of excitement
Do not blame the disappearing desire of your partner if your sex repertoire didn't change. Standard foreplay and intercourse may well become less exciting if she knows the forthcoming scenario as her good as ABC.
What to do
In this situation, even small changes can bring the excitement back into your relationships. Not skilled in sensual massage? Do simple foot massage or tickle her with a feather, have a relaxing warm bath with aroma oils or whisper her sweet words - this can be enough to arouse her instincts.
Unhappiness with the relationships
Her lack of sexual desire may well be a result of tense relationships and unresolved problems. Very often a man think there is nothing wrong in having sex with a woman if he recently had a fight with her. For her this can be unacceptable because a woman is inclined to associate emotional side of the relationships with physical, thus showing her discontent by refusing to share a bed with her partner. Feelings of resentment, lack of positive emotions in your relationships may well lead to loss of her libido.
What to do
Try to solve all your problems before you are going to have sex. Talk to her and ask what bothers her and what you both can do to improve your relationships. Do not turn your talks into hot arguments and explain her what you need in a calm manner.
Tell that you love her not only when you want or anticipate sex. Infuse some romance, having a date with two of you spending some time in relaxed atmosphere.
Illness, childbirth
Hormonal fluctuations occurring after childbirth and during pregnancy, health problems may also affect her libido, leaving you distressed. These problems may be temporary or long-term depending on a situation.
What to do
Try to be patient and open with each other, discussing the problems. Express your feelings and let her know about your desires. You may offer to engage in other sexual plays to satisfy your needs like solo play or seductive talks, read erotica or role playing. A break away may be helpful to enlighten any relationship. If the problem is more complex, it is better to seek for professional help.
| Five Hot Spots to Reach Simultaneous Orgasm | Jan 22, 2008 |
Simultaneous orgasm is what many couples dream to achieve, though many find it quite difficult due to different time required to men and women to reach the big O. It is possible for both partners to make the earth move at the same time if they both learn how to control your performance.
Scrotum - Pull down
Scrotum is not only sensitive area but a good indicator of a man's readiness to ejaculate.
As much as 75 percent of men ejaculate in two minutes after the beginning of the intercourse. Early ejaculation is the first obstacle for you to achieve simultaneous orgasm.
One of the early signs of forthcoming ejaculation is when man's scrotum gets closer to he shaft of the penis. The little trick here is to pull down the scrotum a little bit to delay the ejaculation.
Perineum - Press
Another spot that has a potential to delay the orgasm for a man is perineum located between the anus and scrotum. This helps to retain ejaculate and helps to prolong pleasure. Though be careful while pressing against the spot and not do it too long as it may be harmful for your health.
PC muscles - Squeeze
If none of these tricks work for you, you may need to do some exercises, like PC muscles squeezing. PC (pubo-coccyqeus) muscles can be felt when you try to stop urination. Squeezing PC muscles at least 25 times per day learns you to control ejaculation leading to more intense orgasm.
For women PC muscles exercising not only strengthen her vaginal muscles but also intensifies her sensations. You can squeeze PC muscles using your own fingers, sex toys or around man's penis.
Clitoris - Touch
Do not rush to perform the intercourse and linger on a foreplay with your woman. For many women clitoris is more sensitive than vagina thus paying enough attention to her love bud with the help of oral sex or your hands will speed up her arousal. This will make sure you both can melt in orgasmic bliss simultaneously.
You can also try to stimulate her clitoris during the intercourse or ask her to feel free to do it herself.
G-spot - Explore
When the G-spot was discovered, the vaginal orgasm became easier to achieve for lots of women. G-spot that is located on the front wall of vagina about two inches deep inside. This is a very sensitive spot that triggers a strong orgasm in women.
Men also have so called P-spot -male equivalent of the female G-spot that can be found in the anus somewhere between the anus and testicles. It is full of nerve endings contributing to higher arousal.
| The Secret of a Better Sex Life | Jan 13, 2008 |
Experiment
Fill your sex life with colors and make it as varied as possible. Do not be afraid to try something new and go beyond the limits as long as both of you agree. There is no other way to know what is best for you than experimenting. Be curious about your partner's needs and help him or her discover their centers of pleasure. You may change the place, indulge in role-playing, try some new positions and fulfill your secret sex fantasies to keep things fresh and intriguing.
Do not let your dissatisfaction grow
Sexual relationships do not die one day. In most cases, sex problems, little misunderstandings and dissatisfaction grow with the time and finally these leads to total disagreement. All couples experience some difficulties and have their own vision of ideal sex life. The secret of couples who manage to have better sex life is the ability to discuss all the problems openly not hurting their partners.
Many ticklish situations are inevitable and being honest about your needs and desires is one of the best ways to assure no one leaves the bedroom feeling bitter.
Initiate sex
If one of the partners always takes the lead in sex life and the other is passive, it is likely that active partner may get tired. When you take the initiative it doesn't only show your interest but also give your partner the opportunity to relax and enjoy the pleasure in full. Very often partners establish certain role patterns with the time. It is important to break the rules sometimes and make a completely new scenario.
Share your impressions
It is a good idea to share your impressions with your partner after sex sessions, thus giving each other the opportunity to learn what was good and where you can improve your performance. Do not be shy about saying your opinion on a new practice you both have tried and what can be done to make it better.
Such talks bring you closer to each other and create special intimacy.
Boost your knowledge
Do not think that you know everything about sex. Read books and informative material that may broaden your knowledge about healthy and satisfying sex life. The more sexually educated you will be, the more likely it is for you to have a varied and gratifying experience with your partner. It is also useful for both partners to learn something new about sex and share that knowledge with each other.
Be flexible
You might be totally wrong, if you think that following all the rules of a good sex will make your sex life smooth and exciting all the time. There will be times when you would not want to have sex or sex won't resemble a sparkling hot night, but rather a common routine. Every sexual relationship undergoes ups and downs, that's why it is important to be flexible in any situation and have a lighthearted approach to minor oops.
Compliment each other
It is not a secret that men and women enjoy complements and your partner is not an exception. If it is a new lingerie - make sure you noticed and appreciated it. Always tell your partner what you liked best about his or her performance and express your excitement. Also be attentive to all the new ideas and small details your partner introduces.
Have sex for pleasure
Avoid having sex when you do not really want it. The frequency of sex is individual for each partner and sex is not obligatory. Having sex when you are not in the mood for it will not do any good for both of you. If you are not attuned to have sex, create the necessary atmosphere or wait till the right moment comes. However, if you dislike sex with your partner most of the time, this should be a reason to talk to your partner honestly.
| How to Return your Libido | Dec 11, 2007 |
Those who think that sex is all about penetration and foreplay serves as a starter may soon find sex not so amazing as it was at the beginning. For couples who start feeling that their sex life became a little more predictable, the best tip would be to put the intercourse aside and indulge in sensual pleasure.
Let the arousal build up
If lovemaking had turned into routine for you, you know what is going to happen the next day in your bedroom, it is high time to have a break and let both of you feel some starvation for each other.
Abstain from intercourse for some time and let your desires accumulate enough. Of course, there is no need to do it if you cannot handle the abstinence, but it may sound quite reasonable if you want your sparkles back in your bedroom.
Use your senses
There is indeed no need to make every sexual encounter end up with intercourse. Prolong your and your partner's pleasure, simply enjoying a sensual night. Stroke each other, give each other a whole body massage, cuddle and play and you will soon understand that appetizer may be even better than main course.
There are a lot of tricks to make things spicier and enjoyable even if there is no actual "ride".
Kiss more
Many couples forget about art of kissing after years living together. However, sensual kissing may work wonders for your sex life if you learn to see it as a pleasure in itself. Your lips are a good tool to use them aside from intercourse and excite your partner. Kiss your lover unexpectedly
Mutual pleasure
Mutual masturbation or oral sex can be very intimate as requires a lot of trust between two of you. Use your hands or mouth to bring each other to orgasm. This will give you a good knowledge about your partner's sexual self and also make you both feel closer to each other.
Talk to each other
The biggest sexual organ is brain, so use your fantasy to turn each other on. Reveal your deepest desires and talk openly to your partner without prejudices. Her or his fantasies may seem weird or strange, exciting and intimidating, but do not judge them as perverted. First of all, it does not always mean that your lover will actually want to fulfill this fantasy. But the thing that he or she shared it with you tells about trust and true intimacy between two of you.
| Foreplay for a Romantic Mood | Nov 23, 2007 |
A good foreplay for a woman is half or even the most of pleasure she recalls from lovemaking. Basically, anything that proceeds to intercourse can be called a foreplay, which can be in a form of erotic massage, sensual talks, oral sex, role-playing. Are there any rules for good foreplay and how to learn the art of arousing your woman's sensual side?
Kiss her sensually
Long kisses will never be old-fashioned even if you settled yourself in long-term relationship. When did you last kissed her long, gentle and deep? What was your kiss like? Forget about "kiss-her-goodbye" style and give her the most sensual treat.
Hold her in you hands as though protecting and linger on her lips. Feel the moist and softness while fluttering your tongue though her lips, savor them with your lips, slowly going inside her mouth. Your tongue should not act as an intruder but more like a seducer opening her to your desire step by step.
Keep away from her main zones
Slow down, guys, it is not the time for haste and fever. Excite her mentally just as much as physically before you start a play. Unless your woman is already aroused, you need to start slowly.
The most common mistake men do while trying to arouse a woman is rushing to her hottest spots: clitoris, vagina, nipples etc when she is not ready for it. The good foreplay involves her entire body, not only some spots you've learned once to repeat it over and over again.
By giving her long gliding strokes all over the body, her face is like saying that you really want her to feel good and is there for her as much as she wants it. There can be a lot of things that arouse her aside from rubbing the well-known erogenous zones every book writes about.
Savor the feeling
There is not a rule to how long you should linger on her hot zones before you proceed to the intercourse. But if you really want your woman desire burn, you need to give as much attention to her pleasure areas as she wants.
Feel the smell of her body, the softness of her skin, admire the curves of her breasts and hips, touch and play with your tongue and fingers. Do it as though saying that you enjoy he process and you want her to feel good.
Tease her
Almost a sure way to make her moan with desire is to tease and play. Going down? Take your time kissing around the "main thing", licking her belly, her inner hips. Soon she will be wriggling to feel the gliding strokes of your tongue on her privates. Be patient and tease her for a while, until you see she cannot wait any longer. When you give her oral sex, try to be more creative at the beginning, licking her clitoris, labia, vaginal opening and keep to a steady rhythm of stimulation after she gets fully aroused. You can hold out to boost her passion and bring her to the highest state of sexual delight.
